Sometimes I just wish I could paint.
You know, paint a real picture of a lovely scene. Something memorable and soft. Something that touches the heart and makes the eyes realize how wonderful the world is. Something that people would stop and look at for a moment.
The echo of the painting would cause the heart to respond to real-life a little differently. Stepping away one would feel a little kinder, a little more observant, a little more appreciative and thankful.
Well, I suppose I could learn. There are books and videos, courses on TV and even skilled teachers who come to our our Community Resource Centre in Clearwater.
But I don't want to move slowly towards a goal. I want it "whoosh" all at once, full and powerful, creative and bold.
Playing the piano, too, I want it all at once, gushing out of my fingertips and flowing freely into meaningful compositions, recognizable tunes, rich chords and swirling harmonies.
Sigh.
If only there was a wire and connection from one brain to another and you could down-load the entire skill set.
Crochet is another thing I do not know how to do.
Again, I could learn, step by fumbling step. There are logical sequences, vocabulary, additional stitches, reading patterns. My brain and hands are capable. I have enough time. There are teachers who have offered to show me.
But then, the mystery would be gone: the wonder at the lacy frills, the amazement of the colourful brush strokes, the sweetness of the melody reaching its finale.
Once, at Clearwater Farmers Market, I paused to admire the glassblower's medallions and wrapped dew-drop-like beads. I think his name was Daniel and he came form Ontario to work during the tourist months.
I asked him, "How do you make these marvellous swirls?" I chose a bead with blue and green wrapped inside a clear rounded oval. But then I suddenly stopped him from speaking. "No. Wait. I don’t want you to tell me. Then I will know. I prefer to be amazed."
Inside that glass droplet, that doily, that painting, that composition there are mysteries I want to not understand, rather I want to savour.
It seems to me that both have value. Logic and wonder. Understanding and astonishment. Clarity and curiosity.